The Realisation
“I am starting to realize the illusion or fantasy of what he could be is
ending and instead I see this cruel, heartless human being who has left me
with nothing. I sometimes think I should stay because I have nowhere else
to go and it isn’t that bad - it is just the cheating - but I know that is
crazy. My head actually spins from me analyzing the
situation - it is painful when reality slaps you in the face and you start
realizing things you ignored for so long.”
“The fantasy was exactly that, a FANTASY, that
he created for himself, and presented to me as reality. My head said the
fantasy wasn’t valid. I kept reminding myself: if the fantasy was real, I
wouldn’t be treated like dirt, and feel like shit!”
“It was time to put my own needs above all else. I’d spent nearly 2 yrs
putting HIS needs first. (Did I say First? As if
there was anytime in the relationship when my needs were considered AT
ALL? LOL Yeah right.!) It’s worth realising that you
don’t count as far as he’s concerned. He will only ever do anything for
you as a manipulation to get you to continue to be there to fulfil HIS
needs.”
“I know what you mean about only wanting to focus on the N’s good
qualities but the truth is EVERYBODY has a good side,
including Hitler and I heard Dr. Laura say Jeffrey Dahmer
was a nice guy when he wasn’t eating people.”
“No matter how much I wanted things to change, experience had shown me
over and over and over again (to the point of nausea) that NOTHING would
change. So much like when you bash your head against a
brick wall, when you finally stop IT FEELS GOOD!”
“Somewhere along the line, …they brainwash us
into thinking that we need them when in fact they need us so badly that
they will in fact die without us!! I believe that!! They need us more than
we ever did or ever will need them. Know your power!!!”
“My biggest regret is that I didn’t have the courage to get away from
him sooner! They are toxic and the longer you stay the more damage will be
done to you!”
“They are incapable of having a relationship based upon truth, honesty
and love. Rather relationships are based upon them, their needs, their feelings, their ‘everything’. You are nothing
more than a catalyst to their own selfish ends. The
hardest part for you will be to come to grips with that reality, accept
it, and then move on to another life. You cannot change him, for his
personality is flawed and cast in stone. You can only hope to
distance yourself enough from him in order to initiate the recovery
process.”
back
to "The Penny Drops": A narcissist survival guide written by
those who’ve been there.
Narcissistic
Personality Disorder Information
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