Change
“I couldn’t believe that some people couldn’t change.
But beware of an N, this one goes to Church when he is in trouble or need,
he has even gone into rehabilitation centers,
during times of failure and great need. But up and at em, don’t be fooled,
he always reverts to his old self, false, or true…the nasty N self. He
even enrolled in school telling me he would change and got a job there, 5
weeks later, back to his old binging and behavior, I
think it is admiration, sometimes they try to comply for approval and
admiration, but there isn’t a True Self with morals and beliefs that
actually do it. So be careful, of being misled about their ability to
change.”
“My therapist says that it is virtually impossible
for him to change because he is an N and why would he want to? He gets
everything he wants from whichever dumb girl he is with at the time, he
feels no attachment to anyone so he doesnt have to
deal with a painful breakup and he thinks the
world spins around him, so why would he want to change?”
He never would take responsibility for anything. It
was always some one elses fault, or mostly mine.
He would say he was just reacting to my behaviors and
if I wanted him to change, all I had to do was change me, so I tried for
years and years and then I woke up one day and said “my God, he will never
change, no matter how much I change or how much I do, it will never be
enough” so that was my breaking point.”
“My husband describes personality disorders like this
- (he uses an apple as an example) when someone has a neurosis it is like
a bruise in an apple, you cut it out and the rest of the person is fine;
however when someone has a personality disorder it is as if the core
is rotten!!! The apple is bad! You cannot simply cut out the core, impossible.
He was married to one for 23 years and she will NEVER change. She is a
very nasty person, a control freak, a manipulator, and a pathological
liar! She sees absolutely no harm in her ways and she NEVER will.”
“…you can just bet this person will never commit. And
it is hard to accept if you are attracted and pulled in. Or if you have a
need to change him…Forget it, it’s a waste
of time. You can just bet he has others NS supplies on the side and woman.
That fear of life, he is not going to take a chance that only one person
is there for him, even if he is never there for anyone.”
“Don’t fantasize he will change either. He needs
someone there, and the fact he needs someone makes him hate himself and
everyone else, and they are so needy, it won’t be just one NS supply.
Believe me. It can be male or female, but a hoard of friends,
friends, friends, and relationships. Be careful of venereal disease.”
“I have finally come to the conclusion that they
cannot change, so all we can do is to refuse to participate in their sick
drama and leave the stage.”
“These people are not reachable....!!!!!! They dont
love you...they use you. They dont appreciate
you...they abuse you.”
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to "The Penny Drops": A narcissist survival guide written by
those who’ve been there.
Narcissistic
Personality Disorder Information