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This little article came across my desk some weeks ago and I thought it would compliment my page "Mission Impossible". I now need one to compliment the English and Welsh, any ideas .Mail to


I do wish to dispute one point in this article the best drink in the world is Guinness, followed closely by Whiskey, not the other Whisky.

Wha's like us

Damn few and they're a'deid

The average Englishman in the home he calls his castle slips into his national costume, a shabby raincoat:patented by chemist Charles Macintosh from Glasgow, Scotland.

En route to his office he strides along the English lane surfaced by John Macadam of Ayr, Scotland.

He drives an English car fitted with tyres: by john Boyd Dunlop of Dreghorn, Scotland.

At his office he receives the mail bearing adhesive stamps invented by John Chambers of Dundee.

During the day he uses the telephone invented by Alexander Graham Bell born in Edinburgh.

At home in the evening his daughter pedals her bicycle invented by Kirkpatrick Macmillan, blacksmith of Dumfries.

He watches the news on the television an invention of John Logie Baird of Helensburgh, Scotland and hears an item about the US. Navy founded by John Paul Jones of Kirkbean .

He has by now been reminded too much of Scotland and in desperation he picks up the bible only to find that the first man mentioned in the good book is a Scot king "James VI" who authorised its translation

Nowhere can an Englishman turn to escape the ingenuity of the Scots. He could take to drink but the Scots make the best in the world. He could take a rifle and end it all but the breech loading rifle was invented by captain Patrick Ferguson of Pitfours, Scotland.

If he escapes death he could find himself on an operating table being injected with penicillin discovered by Alexander Fleming of Darvel, Scotland and given an anaesthetic discovered by sir James young Simpson of Bathgate.

Out of the anaesthetic he would find no comfort in learning that he was as safe as the bank of England founded by William Peterson of Dumfries, Scotland.

Perhaps his only remaining hope would be to get a transfusion of guild Scottish blood which would entitle him to ask

"wha's like us"


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shamrock2.jpg (3305 bytes) Alternative Irish Joke Web Site 


Last Updated 21/04/2009