Irish Medical Dictionary

If nothing else we Irish can spot a good laugh at a  hundred paces.  if you have ever listened to a Dubliner or a Corkonian in every day speech you would understand just how the English language is enriched by their pronunciation and application of every day words. When I was growing up I used to think the arthritis was named after someone called Arthur as it was commonly referred to as "Arthuritis".  So I guess that some of the explanations below could well have come from some Dub with a sense of humour  or maybe an Ulsterman with their "Barium"


  Artery The study of Painting  
  Bacteria Back door of a Cafeteria  
  Barium What Doctors do when patients die  
  Bowel A letter like A,E,I,O,U  
  Caesarean Section A neighbourhood in Rome  
  Cat Scan Search for kitty  
  Cauterise Made eye contact with her  
  Coma A punctuation mark  
  D&C Where Washington is  
  Dilate To live longer  
  Enema Not a friend  
  Fester Quicker  
  Fibula A small lie  
  Genital Not a Jew  
  G.I Series A soldier ball game  
  Hangnail Coat hook  
  Impotent Distinguished, well known  
  Labour pain Getting hurt at work  
  Medical Staff Doctors cane  
  Morbid A higher offer  
  Nitrates Cheaper than day rates  
  Node Was aware of  
  Outpatient A person who has fainted  
  Pap smear A fatherhood test  
  Pelvis A cousin to Elvis  
  Recovery room Place to do upholstery  
  Rectum Almost killed him  
  Secretion Hiding something  
  Seizure Roman Emperor  
  Tablet A small table  
  Terminal illness Getting sick at the airport  
  Tumor Another two  
  Urine Opposite to "you're out"  
  Varicose Nearby  
  Vein Bigheaded  
  Medical Quiz

Can you spot the word in the picture to the right that was (is) used by Dubliners to denote a region of the female body.


It's a wizzer of a word